Is Love A Feeling Or Action Or Both?
"If I were Spock from "Star Trek," I would explain that human love
is a combination of three emotions or impulses: desire,
vulnerability and bravery. Desire makes one feel vulnerable, which
then requires one to be brave.
Since I'm not Spock, I will tell a story.
Say you decide to adopt a baby girl in China. You receive her photo,
put it on your refrigerator and gaze at it as the months pass, until
finally you're halfway around the world, holding her in your arms,
tears of joy streaming down your face.
But later in your hotel room, after undressing her, you discover
worrisome physical signs, in particular a scar on her spine. You
call the doctor, then head to the hospital for examinations and CT
scans, where you are told the following: she suffered botched spinal
surgery that caused nerve damage. Soon she will lose all bladder and
bowel control. Oh, and she will be paralyzed for life. We're so
But the adoption agency offers you a choice: keep this damaged baby,
or trade her in for a healthier one.
You don't even know about the trials yet to come, about the alarming
diagnoses she'll receive back home, the terrifying seizures you'll
witness. Nor do you know about the happy ending that is years off,
when she comes through it all and is perfectly fine. You have to
decide now. This is your test. What do you do?
If you're Elizabeth Fitzsimons, who told this story here one
Mother's Day, you say: "We don't want another baby. We want our
baby, the one sleeping right over there. She's our daughter."
That's love. Anyone can have it. All it requires is a little
bravery. Or a lot."------------- Excerpted form Daniel Jones'
great column, "Modern
You can read Elizabeth Fitzsimons" story in her own words