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Once Again...I'm Back.

To some of you I can say: "Hi, I'm back!" To other readers, it's "Hello" for the first time. Welcome to this e-mail newsletter.


I hope to share with you various thoughts of mine which may help you have different thoughts and behavior. The design of our cognition, how we think, plays a big part in the decisions we make about what to say, what to do, how to relate to others and how to take good care of ourselves. More on mindful cognition and behavior and changes as we move along.


Reader's reactions these days are the essence of internet connection. When readers "Like", "Comment", "Google+" or "Facebook" what they read, blogging and opinion sharing becomes an interactive and social process.


In my previous life as a blogger/content maker, I heard more comments about why my column left the "air" than I did comments on what I had to say when I was on the air. The comments that mean the most to me are not the simple ones like, Wow, what a great idea Paul!", but the reciprocal sharing of your thoughts that got stimulated by what I wrote. The idea is that "deep" thoughts beget "deeper thoughts."


Having said all that, I love to hear from you one way or the other. Register some of your thoughts and reactions in the comments section. You never know when or how your thoughts and reactions will help someone else along their cognitive and behavioral path to quality life.


Useful comments for me are statements about what you'd like me to comment on. What are you struggling with in your emotional, relationship or work life? Questions are good. They lead to open dialogue. Unlike silence in the movie theater, silence in this venue is not golden. Comments and feedback is!


Thanks again for reading. I look forward to a beneficial relationship for us both.


Bounce and Flow Through The Holidays

Watch a ball bounce. Each bounce takes it to a new and different place. Bouncing is a great way to explore your world of possibilities. Trouble and distress are spring boards to new frontiers in your growth and development as a person of worth and value. 


Watch water flow. Any place you see moving water, large or small, it has a signature characteristic: it keeps moving. Over, under, around, through, or any other way it must take to overcome obstacles, water will reach its ultimate destination.


Bounce or flow. Take your pick. Either way you win because you've got resilience.


Here's how to bounce and flow through tough times (and the Holidays): Read More 

We Are The Ones... or, I Am The One...
ring of people
After some time, wisdom sayings detach themselves from their first sayers or authors and take on authorship of their own.  To some extent, that is a sign of true wisdom: it can stand on it's own merit without the need to appeal to another authority for credibility.

So it is with the first sentence of a short "prophecy" attributed to Hopi Elders: "We are the Ones We Have Been Waiting For..."  That phrase is now used as title to several book, rock albums and poems. To some extent, this idea of "it is up to us to save ourselves, the planet and our civilization" is not new.  However, it now has some opposition with the prevalence of self-absorption, self-branding, selfies and narcissism.

Rather than, "We Are The Ones We Have Been Waiting For...," the current counter to that is "I Am The One You Have Been Waiting For...."  "I" versus "We" is not new tension.  It's part of being human.  Community is made up of individuals.  Individual people need the group for survival.

Some would say, though, the balance has been lost between these two opposites. As a species, we are nose diving into an individual focus at the expense of the collective and overall concern for greater goodness.

Here are the next few lines of the Hopi's wisdom:

"You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is The Hour.
And there are things to be considered:
    Where are you living?
    What are you doing?
    What are your relationships?
    Are you in right relation?
    Where is your water?
    Know your garden.
    It is time to speak your Truth.
Create your community. Be good to each other. And do not look outside yourself for the leader.
This could be a good time!" (Read the remainder of the prophesy here)

As with all wisdom, apply these meanings to yourself and your life not only on the literal level, but the metaphoric/metaphysical levels as well.

"Where are you living?" is a useful question to ask as it applies to your literal address and also on the unseen levels, i.e. "Where in your head, you heart, your spirit, in your social life, etc.?"

My favorite question is: "Where is my water?"  How about you?
Soon To Come

In January 2014, I will offer on-line counseling and coaching through secure, encrypted, HIPPA compliant video counseling, phone and email. My in-office practice will also continue uninterrupted.

From the convenience of your home, traveling away or because it just suits you, I will be available at the click of your mouse. 

Let me know if you're interested and we'll get set up to meet online.

Here is a good article on the effectiveness of telemental health.
Already Here

If the old rules about how to do marriage and intimate relationships worked, I would be out of business.


But, guess what: I have a thriving business working with couples who want more out of marriage and intimacy than their culture knows how to give them.  


The American culture pumps us full of high expectations about love and relationships. It does not deliver to its citizens on how to achieve that.


I put what I observe works for successful relationships into a short and condensed book:

"New Rules For Relationships and Modern Marriage: Love Is Not Enough".



You can get your Kindle copy and/or hard copy from Amazon here. 


Until next time, here's to taking good care of yourself first so that, secondly, you can take good care of others.

Paul W. Anderson, PhD

"Great things can be accomplished if no one person has to take credit for it."
                                             Nelson Mandela

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